We don’t enter the world with it. No one has it all of the time. Talking about it won’t help you gain it and you need to work each day to grow it.
Yes, you may have guessed it, we are referring to self-confidence!
If you’ve ever looked in the mirror and disliked the person looking back at you or turned down an exciting opportunity because you didn’t feel good enough, you are not alone.
According to Dove’s Global Beauty & Confidence study, a staggering 9 in 10 women opt out of important life activities such as engaging with friends and loved ones because they don’t feel good about themselves.
In this growing digital age, social media platforms and fast technology can have a huge impact on how we view ourselves and the world. Where once, visions of perfection gazed out at us exclusively from glossy pages of magazines or billboards on the way to work, we now carry them with us in our pockets - accessible with just a tap of a button.
When it comes to building confidence, society offers us plenty of advice. “Just be yourself”, “Fake it till you make it” or “Dress for success”. Tips fly at us from every direction from daytime chat shows to covers of magazines.
While in some circumstances, these tips can be helpful, we believe that to truly construct a solid foundation of self-confidence we need to dig a little deeper and start smaller with simple yet effective daily habits.
And so, we have put together five top tips that can help you get started.
Assess Your Now
In order to change, we need to have an understanding of where our confidence levels are at now. Start by asking yourself, right now, where would you score your level of self-confidence out of 10? With 10 being high, and 1 being low.
Next, imagine what higher levels of self-confidence look like for you. What would this new self-confidence allow you to do? How would your life change? What are some things that are acting as blockers?
Write down some examples of behaviours, habits and feelings that your most confident self would have.
This first step will not only inform your confidence goals and form an action plan but will keep you motivated along the way.
Start Taking Action
Confidence is like a muscle. If unused, it remains weak. If used regularly, it grows stronger.
Using your new self-confidence vision that you compiled in step one to inspire you, you can now start to take action. Rather than racing to change everything at once, it can be more effective to assign yourself challenges with milestones to work towards each week.
This could be to step out of your comfort zone and sign up to a new class, it could be to say yes (or no) more often or it could be finally having that difficult conversation with somebody that you’ve been avoiding for some time.
Remember to start small and as your confidence grows, so will the size of the challenges you set for yourself.
Some ways to set yourself up for success include:
- Surround yourself with people who make you feel good about yourself and avoid those who tend to trigger your negative thinking. Nobody has time for that!
- Fill your days doing what makes you happy. Make room for self-care in your routine and invest time in learning more about what makes you tick. The more you know about yourself, the more self-assured and confident you will start to feel.
- Confidence starts from within. We tend to feel our best when we are following healthy habits that benefit our mind and body. Support your body with what it needs with powerful supplements like Triumph which is designed to support your energy levels, heart health, immune system, cognitive function as well as your hair, skin and nails!
Challenge Your Inner Critic
So you’ve started your confidence action plan and everything is going well until you start to hear the old familiar...
“Why bother trying anything new, you’re only going to fail”
“ Don’t go to that party, you’ll end up just being awkward”
“ God, can’t you do anything right?!”
This “voice”, whether it whispers or shouts is one that many of us hears on a regular basis and it has one mission- to destroy your self-confidence.
While a healthy amount of self-criticism is fine, when it starts to negatively affect your daily life or hold you back, it's time to replace self-judgement with self-compassion.
When your voice inside tells you that you're incapable or bound to fail, respond with phrases like, “I can do this” or, “I’m trying my very best”. Challenge the criticism by asking yourself questions such as; “Why do I believe I will fail?” and “Are the concerns valid?”.
If you are really struggling with this step, it can be helpful to remember to speak to yourself as you would speak to a friend or somebody you love.
Beware of the Comparison Trap
“I wish I had her job”
“They are on holiday again! We never go anywhere”
“She’s so successful, I feel like a failure”
Pretty much all of us are guilty of falling into the comparison trap at some stage or another but comparing yourself to other people can be very harmful to your confidence and is a sure-fire way to start feeling crummy about yourself.
If you focus on them, you ultimately start to lose sight of you and by measuring yourself against others, you can rob yourself of the confidence that comes from believing in your own abilities.
Cultivate an inner trust based on doing the right things for you and instead of comparing yourself to others, consider self-comparing instead. Check-in with yourself regularly and compare your progress with where you were when you started. By focusing on your own goals and achievements rather than measuring them against someone else’s, you may start to see your self-confidence surge.
Become Your Own Cheerleader
The on-going conversation you have with yourself is the single most important one.
The little voice that tells you that you are KILLING IT can be way more powerful than you might think. The tone that we adopt for ourselves, whether it’s kind or berating, can determine the state of our mood, resilience and ultimately our self-confidence on any given day.
Make an effort to be kind to yourself.
Make self-praise familiar by spending just a couple of moments each day complimenting yourself. Maybe you managed the school run without forgetting something, maybe you finally ticked off that niggling task from your to-do list or maybe you told a really funny joke to a work colleague. Whatever it is, remember to celebrate your small wins as well as the big ones!
... And a Little Extra Inspiration
So, if you’ve gotten this far and are still struggling with how to get started or just need a further little nudge in the right direction, we’ve put together a few of our favourite quotes from some pretty inspiring women that are sure to get you motivated.
If these quotes don’t quite hit the spot, you may benefit from creating some self-confidence affirmations of your own such as:
“I am smart, competent and capable” “I can do anything I set my mind to” “It is enough to have done my best”
Once created, repeat these daily to yourself.
So ladies, what are you waiting for?!
It’s time to; raise your voice, claim your seat, stand tall and own your self-confidence!
If you enjoyed this blog and are eager for more, why not check out some similar posts:
- How to Navigate Self-Care & Prioritise Yourself During Motherhood
- 5 Successful Daily Habits Inspired by Successful Women
- Exhausted? How to Battle Burnout With These 7 Simple Lifestyle Habits